


Doubts

by Karla_Writes



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Slash, Yaoi, makorin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 15:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1515053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karla_Writes/pseuds/Karla_Writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin finds out about what happened to Makoto that night in the ocean, but not from the brunette. Why wouldn’t Makoto tell him about that incident? Rin takes it upon himself to confront the brunette in hopes of clearing up his own doubts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> This was first posted to my Tumblr (dontlookdirectly) a few months ago, I think it was still 2013. 
> 
> This fic is: AU-ish, Established Relationship, OOC, UnBeta’d. Set before episode 7.

Nagisa had let it slip.

“What?”

Nagisa scratched the back of his head nervously as he tried to change the subject. Rin’s eyes narrowed and he pressed for more information. Eventually, Nagisa told him everything. How Rei had gone swimming in the middle of the night, just as the storm grew stronger, and how Makoto rushed to the boy’s aid.

That impulsive idiot.

Rin’s lip twitched.

“Thank goodness Haru-chan woke up and heard him. I helped Rei-chan and Haru-chan saved Mako-chan.” The blond stopped abruptly, his usually bright eyes losing some of their spark. Rin waited impatiently for the smaller boy to continue.

“At first Haru-chan… he thought Mako-chan was dead.” Rin saw the troubled look on Nagisa’s face, as if saying those words was hard, wrong, simply unimaginable. Rin’s stomach lurched in repulsion at those words. At even thinking Makoto could be dead if it hadn’t been for Haru. At thinking that Makoto would be taken by the merciless ocean just like his dad….

Pushing aside his inner turmoil he thanked Nagisa for telling him.

“It’s no surprise he hasn’t told you.” Nagisa said just as Rin was about to leave. Rin turned back.

“He hasn’t talked about it since then, and just says he’s fine. The only reason I know about what happened to him is because I pressed Haru-chan to tell me, and the only reason I did that is because Mako-chan isn’t his usual self. He’s still cheery and all smiles, but they all seem forced.” Nagisa was frowning now, quite unusual for the blond.

“Maybe if it’s Rin-chan that talks to Mako-chan, he’ll really smile again.” Nagisa grinned up at Rin, winking, before he waved goodbye and ran off. Rin gaped after him. The little brat knew. Rin and Makoto didn’t have that much time together. How long has it been? A month? Rin wasn’t sure. They’d started this thing between them unexpectedly, and to Rin’s surprise, it had been a very natural transition. They saw each other a little more than before; going on simple dates whenever they had the time. Rin even made an effort to hang out with the entire group when they couldn’t be alone together, all the while glaring daggers at Haru when he and Makoto displayed too much friendly affection. However, he’d done this all on the pretense of wanting to keep a close eye on Haru’s swimming. 

Nagisa had caught on though, that brat was sharp.

Leaving that aside, Rin began to feel anger build up in his gut. Why hadn’t Makoto said a word about this? Even if he didn’t talk about it to anyone, why not him? Weren’t they supposed to be couple? Didn’t couples talk about such important things? Granted, they weren’t the average couple, but it only seemed logical that they should discuss things such as this. Right? This uncertainty was not going to get him anywhere, and would only succeed in resurfacing his past doubts.

Quickly making up his mind, Rin made his way toward the brunette’s house. It was ten past seven in the evening, so Makoto had to be home by now. Rin practically ran all the way toward Makoto’s house, careful not to lose his balance while descending the stone steps. Controlling his jagged breathing, and before succumbing to cowardice for coming here unannounced, Rin knocked on the front door. There was the sound of steps, a long whine, and laughing before the door was swung open. The little girl before him brightened.

“It’s Rin-chan!” Ran pulled him inside by the arm, not allowing Rin to say a word.

“Rin-chan!” Ren climbed off his older brother and joined his sister’s side, grinning widely.

“Oi, squirts, I’ve told you not to call me that.” Rin smirked as he ruffled Ran’s hair and poked Ren on the forehead.

“But, Rin-chan is Rin-chan.” The two giggled. That was all Makoto’s doing.

“Are you here to play games with us?” The two looked up at him eagerly.

Makoto interrupted their reunion, “Come on you two, mom has dinner waiting.” Makoto approached his two younger siblings and sent them off.

“No fair, Nii-chan always plays with Rin-chan.” Ran pouted, but followed her brother’s order. Ren reluctantly followed after her. Rin knew they’d be back before he left.

“Are you alright, Rin-chan? Is something wrong?” Makoto was at his side, worry etched all over his face. Rin scowled. Everyone else came first to this guy except himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me about what happened that day… in the ocean.” Makoto’s eyes widened, shifting away from Rin.

“How did you—”

“Not important.” Rin clenched his jaw. “Why, Makoto? Aren’t we… aren’t we a couple?” Rin’s cheeks reddened. Their relationship was too new, too fragile. Makoto bit his lip, feeling ashamed.

“Let’s talk in my room.” Makoto suggested. Rin nodded, following the other down the hall. Once inside the neat room Makoto closed the door behind him.

“I’m sorry for not telling you. I just didn’t want to worry you.” The sincere answer caused Rin’s heart to thump erratically. Yet… this still wasn’t right.

“I figured you would say something like that.” Rin chuckled dryly. The redhead stood in front of Makoto and reached up to the brunette’s face. He held it firmly between his hands and made Makoto face him.

“What must I do for you to trust me?” The question shocked Makoto.

“I do trust you.” Makoto replied quickly. Rin frowned.

“Then you must trust that I can handle anything you tell me. Of course I’ll worry, Idiot, but only because I care about you. And, because I care, I want to know about this from you, not someone else.” Rin finished with an honest-to-God smile. Makoto couldn’t stop himself. He gathered Rin in his arms and held him tightly to his chest. He’d wanted to tell Rin all of what happened, but he’d always stopped himself. He didn’t know what it was that held him back; fear, insecurity, pride? However, it certainly was not mistrust toward Rin.

“I’m sorry.” Makoto repeated.

“You don’t have to be. Makoto, I didn’t come here looking for an apology.” Rin brushed back Makoto’s brown hair when the boy pulled back. “I came here looking for confirmation that we are truly special to each other. I came looking for a reason to believe that we are a couple. Because, even if we kiss, touch, and hold each other, that doesn’t make us a couple. We need to talk about all of this. Just as I talked to you about my dad, and my dreams, and my fears. Just like I did that, I’d like for you to also share things with me. I’ll understand if there are some things that you won’t want to talk about, but I just need you to tell me what they are so I won’t be at a loss. Unless, you don’t want this with me.” Those damn doubts were bubbling to the surface.

Makoto shook his head, tightening his hold on Rin, “No, Rin, I want all of that with you.” Makoto lowered his gaze.

“That day… I was so scared. I thought about my parents and Ren and Ran, I thought about Haru, Nagisa, Rei, and Gou. And, I… I was so scared that I’d never see Rin again.” Rin once again pulled Makoto’s face up. The brunette’s green eyes were glossy and his cheeks were a bright red. 

“After I regained consciousness, I felt horrible for not being able to help Rei. I-I felt useless, I felt like a coward for not surpassing this fear. I thought, because you can’t win over this fear you are going to die and leave everyone behind.”

“Makoto, you are brave, kind, and so very selfless. That you risked your life that night for someone else even though you carry this fear with you, speaks volumes. You are no coward.”

Makoto leaned down until their foreheads touched. Rin closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck. 

“Don’t you ever doubt that.” Rin leaned up to press their lips together. This. This is what he wanted. For Makoto to feel comfortable enough to tell him all of this without reservation. He didn’t want Makoto to walk around carrying around everyone else’s concerns and problems. He wanted Makoto to be a little selfish, to let other people care and worry about him. Rin wanted Makoto to lean on him whenever he didn‘t feel strong enough, and he would in turn depend on Makoto when his emotions would be too much to handle. Talking like this with Makoto put his own silly doubts to rest. He’d sometimes felt like he wasn’t what was best for Makoto, but after this he was sure they were good for each other. Makoto gasped softly when Rin licked his bottom lip. Rin pressed himself closer, wanting to feel every inch of Makoto. Rin pulled back and bit back a moan when Makoto’s hands slid lower on his back, teasing the flesh under the hem of his shirt. Soft lips reached Rin’s neck, moving sensually down to his shoulder. Rin’s hand gripped warm brown hair, fingers clenching when Makoto began to suck on the hard flesh. Makoto’s hands started to travel further down Rin’s back, a little too low.

“Makoto.” Rin warned, face flushed.

“You started it.” Makoto smiled, bringing his hands back up.

“Yeah, well, I forgot your family is only a few feet away.” Rin admitted. Makoto chuckled. Rin’s eyes softened at the sound.

“Thank you for coming over, Rin-chan. Thank you for everything.” Makoto once again held Rin close. Rin was content with just embracing the other back. Their warm bodies fitting perfectly against each other. Their next kiss was slow, delicate, and was meant to express their equal relief at getting through this and coming to understand each other a little more.

It was a perfect mirror of their relationship. 

One that they hoped would last for a very, very, long time

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Leave a comment if you'd be so kind.


End file.
